Paint’s Blog

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their dogs because they can legally sign the marriage documents.

4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

We’re on this Earth together,
And if we would be brothers,
Fight not just on your own behalf
But for the sake of others
________________________________________________

May your troubles be as few and far between
As my grandmother’s teeth.
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one;
A quick death and an easy one;
A pretty girl and an honest one;
A cold beer — and another one!
________________________________________________

Work like you don’t need money,
Love like you have never been hurt and
Dance like no one’s watching

____________________________________________________
Here’s to lying, stealing, and cheating!
May you lie to save a friend;
May you steal the heart of the one you love;
and may you cheat death!

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St patty day joke from my mother .. tis’ allowed’ were Irish.

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having a beer and watching the –not an appropriate thing to discuss here– across the street.

They saw a Baptist minister walk into the –not an appropriate thing to discuss here–, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to

see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”

Then they saw a Rabbi enter the –not an appropriate thing to discuss here–, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to

see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.:

Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the –not an appropriate thing to discuss here–, and one of the Irishmen said,

“What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be quite ill.”
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>
> About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western
> Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner.
>
> At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of
the
>
> grand stairway in the main dining room. I noticed that all the staff,
> ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with
> this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told
> she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on
> board for the last four cruises, back to back.
>
> As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped
> to say hello. We chatted and I said, “I understand you’ve been on this
> ship
for
> the
> last four cruises.” She replied, “Yes, that’s true.” I stated, “I
> don’t understand” and she replied without a pause, “It’s cheaper than
> a nursing home.”
>
> So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and
> feeble, I am going to get on a Princess cruise ship. The average cost
> for a nursing home is $200 a day. I have checked on reservations at
> Princess and I
can
> get
> a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.
>
> That leaves $65 a day for:
> 1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
> 2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
> restaurant or I can have room service (which means I can have
> breakfast in bed every day of the week.) 3. Princess has as many as
> three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers and
> shows every night.
> 4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo.
> 5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra
> $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
> 6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days.
> 7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing?
> Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They will fix
> everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
> 8. Clean sheets and towels every day and you don’t even have to ask
> for them.
> 9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on
> Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship, they will
> upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
>
> Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
> Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or name where you want to
> go?
>
> Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don’t look for me in a
nursing
>
> home, just call shore to ship.
>
> P. S. And don’t forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side
> at no extra charge!