Paint’s Blog

Hi,

For anyone with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG Bucks. Watch for the following consolidations before the end of  2008:

1.    Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.    PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
 
    &nb sp;  3.   3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
       4.   Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge
       and become:  ZipAudiDoDa.

       5.   FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS and become: FedUP.
 6.   Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
 
         7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.
 
        8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!!!

 And finally –

9. Victoria ‘s Secret and Smith & Wesson will m erge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang.

What Conservatism Isn’t
by John Hawkins

If you closely follow politics, one thing you’ll learn is that liberals often go to great lengths to try to hide what they really believe from the public while conservatives inevitably seem to be trying to correct some misperception that has been spread about them.

So, as a creature of the Right and as someone who knows other conservatives well, I’d like to do something a little out of the ordinary. I’d like to take the time to explain what we conservatives are NOT so that people who aren’t that familiar with conservatism can know when they’re being fed a plateful of baloney about what we believe.

Conservatives don’t dislike minorities: Few things outrage conservatives more than the fact that liberals are forever accusing us of hating this or that group for the flimsiest of reasons. Yes, there are a few racist conservatives, just like there are racist liberals and moderates. However, judging by the number of race-based attacks on minority conservatives by the Left, the Right as a whole is considerably less racist than our brethren on the Left.
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