family history…..
I love you, Grandma…
At 2:30AM on Saturday morning, my grandmother passed away.
this is a sad time but happy to
at least she is back with my grandfather, my REAL grandfather
and not with the scrum of a 2nd husband
who wanted nothing from her then her “stuff” and the feeling of domination.
a little family history:
this is only visible to friends .
5/27/05
We saw them today at hospital. Uncle is badly bruised but in good spirits and flirting with the nurses.
Aunt Lois is not good mentally. the Alzheimer’s is much worse. Her head has about 8 staples in it suturing her cut. she has a cast for broken toes/foot, neck brace for the broken bones in her neck. doctor said she’ll need to wear neck brace for 3-6 months w/ periodic x-rays. she keeps trying to get out of bed and is restrained. she doesn’t understand or remember why she must lay down. i showed her the cast, she says ok, but 10 minutes later you have to re-explain it to her. I had to spoon feed her broth and jello. she forgot how to swallow pills, We crushed them into her jello. she would draw circles in the air w/ her fingers muttering to herself. Poor aunt Lo…Hospital says she will have to go to a nursing care facility at least until neck and foot heal. Once she can freely walk about she will still need very close monitoring but Patty wants to put addition on her house for them. We might take in Uncle while construction being done.
Insurances and medicare should cover the first 100 days of nursing home for auntie. $8,000 mth! Uncle will have to sell house in New Paltz.
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a little in-site to what happened after uncle mike passed, how john handled things….we really didn’t want to break down Uncles home so soon, …
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John had been bulling my uncle for months , to get him to sign power of atorny over to him, we think he thought it meant… he got everything… and that is how he acted afterword.
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5/30/05
ok so yesterday morning at about 6am my mother called me with some very bad news..
my uncle mike who i hold very dear to me passed away Sunday morning .
i must say this was a great shock, as i had talked to him earlier on Saturday and he was supposed to be let go from the hospital on tuesday.
he sounded fine and in realitivly good spirits but apparently his heart just stopped Sunday morning at 2:30 am
well
i quickly gathered a few belongings and my foster. and the 2 of us drove straight through to
NY
we got here at 3:30 am .
This uncle was the closest family member that i had . and it deeply pains me that i wasn’t able to see him one last time..
the wake and funerals will be Friday Saturday. they’ll finalize plans this week.
in the mean time my Aunt is still in the hospital and i’ll be visiting her up their today..
what happened:
last Wednesday night .
my aunt who is admittedly getting a little senile . went to go to the bathroom and opened the cellar stairs instead in fell.
my uncle rushed to help her and got to excited and fell down after her.
also passing out.
she got up and managed to get to back to bed but it wasn’t till a few hours latter when uncle came too that he was able to get to a phone and call 911
they had to break down the door to get to them.
and took them both to Benedictine in Kingston NY
my aunt had a few broken bones in her neck and a few broken toes . and was a bit out of it . having to kept being reminded of why she couldn’t leave bed .
uncle was fine except for a few scraps and bruises and was simply under observation , we were told he was to be sent home on tuesday.
my aunt and my parents were making arrangements to have them come live with my parents for a little bit , while my aunt put and addition on their house .
figuring the aunt lo will have to be put in intermediate care for a bit to recuperate.
I talked to my uncle immediately after i heard the news i called and got his line . and i called Saturday to check on him.
he had said on the phone that he was leaving on Sunday…
after that i called to verify with my parents and they said no Tuesday.
but he left Sunday any way ……
it just hurts so bad .
i was working on my final project for him .
he loves trains , and i was recreating our historic roundhouse in Savannah i had talked to him before the incident and told him that when i come up i wanted to tape him telling stories because he was 92 and i loved his stories , he was mailman in the armed forces during WW2, air force i believe but he got air sick.. and he would tell of how when he was mail man on the boats that if they got the signal that Germans were coming they had to destroy the mail.. he told about sitting long hours on cold quite water at night waiting for an ok to bring the mail in ..
he worked at IBM Kingston when it took a train and 80 cars to move a computer
about how when he was working at Miniwaska and Mohawk mountain house he met my Aunt Louis and how romantic it was , he actually tossed little pebbles at her window at night and serenaded her in the moon light. .
i remember the farm growing up , and the horses he cared for but he wasn’t really a horsemen they were his MIL’s they but he likes then any way .
the summers at his house those were the best weeks of my life.
i worried about them when i left for college in 2002, i was afraid i wouldn’t get back in time . i’d call or write . and send pictures .but i missed them so much..
I’ll be up with aunt Louis today with my laptop to at least show her the projects i’ve been working on .
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after uncle passed john asserted himself and bullied my family tried to pit my aunt and dad against each other , and then changed the locks and locked them out of the house….he had no right too.
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7/22/05
I guess we HAVE to split up New Paltz house contents. uncle wanted Aunt pat and Dad to have his things,not the state. so…I will try to gather everything i can that my girls may need or want for future. I will let aunt patty choose first,
Gma of course called ginger last night to ask what SHE wanted…bet you didn’t get a call? (i didn’t) will try to choose some nice pieces for you for when you have your own place again…I think Uncle would be happy to have you w/ family heirlooms.
Attorney scolded John miller and told him he is NOT to lock the “Heirs” out of the house. he is to open doors and leave premises for Dad and aunt pat to remove whatever they want.
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6/28/06
Daddy is here in Vero.
Gma MIller just taken by ambulance to Arden hill. all we know is that she is stable.
Grandma Miller went to the hospital today (Wednesday,
June 28th) needed oxygen and was sent home. Aunt Patty is keeping close tabs to make sure John doesn’t
do something stupid.
Gma is home with oxygen…ya think the smoker is poisoning her air quality??? NJ surgery was a faulty valve that will need replacing.
(John refused to stop smoking in her presence even after she had a stroke/heart attack and was placed on occasional oxygen, he also refused to take it out side or allow her a cordless phone preferring to monitor all her calls.)
6/30/07
Dear Mary-Margaret,
Not that you can/should do anything but wanted to let you know Gma Miller is in Arden Hill Hospital. It’s her congestive heart failure . Fluid builds up and makes it hard for her to breathe. Her kidneys are not able to pump the fluid out of her fast enough. She may need to go on a dyalisis machine to assist the kidney function.
Dad and Aunt Patty can’t do anything, God knows they have tried in the past. John is in charge. Ginger called hospital and was able to talk with Grandma and John. He’s sweet as ever to her as usual. We hope the Doctors will insist she goes to a nursing home and not back to Montgomery. that would be a sure death sentence.
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Aunt Lois will be fine. She is well taken care of and protected in Nursing Home.She hates John anyway so if he stopped going she wouldn’t care.
…..is she payed up?…..
her estate goes to her care. He can’t change things, lawyer has final say. Original lawyer died and new attorney already gave him hell for ??? whatever they’d already done. Don’t know what but apparently attorney was scrutinizing the checkbook?
Ginger speaking to Gma Miller, Gig trying to mend rift but she just doesn’t understand what we’ve all been thru with John. Grandma has asked for help in past, we’ve been there for her, then as she gets stronger she tells us to get out. Poor Dad is so upset. He did call hospital and at least left message w/ nursing station that we love her and are keeping her in our prayers. What else can we do? Gma has refused to believe that John treats us poorly.love,Mom
……has the family talked to the new lawyer about finding out what happened to all uncles stuff?
herilomes and things that should of stayed in the family , book collection alone could of payed to have aunt lo moved to FL …
No, I don’t think Aunt Patty has spoken to new lawyer. She and Dad do have the right to ask for an accounting but they want nothing more to do with John. Mom and John took stuff out of uncle’s house BEFORE Dad and aunt Pat were allowed in. Neighbors said they were there everyday carrying out boxes. We found empty safe in attic….They weren’t supposed to but….we can’t prove it. Why do you think they have not allowed anyone into the Montgomery house? They know we’ll see what they’ve stolen.
7/25/06
Gma Miller doing good. getting stronger. doc wants her to have pacemaker put in friday.
8/26/07
Just to update…
Gma Miller is in hosp again. She actually called aunt pat too.
She has been on daily dialysis and is doing much better. Aunt Patty goes to see her everyday. I think the visiting nurse reported that her care at home by John is not up to par and nursing care is investigating situation. something about neighbors reported hearing her screaming!? Anyway, maybe he finally dug his own hole,he is not allowed to sit alone with her during her dialysis sessions.Aunt Pat stays with her. We’ll keep you updated and hope no one tips off john that they are watching him. see?…he’ll bury himself eventually,
10/14/07
Dad is in NY. He saw Gma today. Said she was alert and doing good. He went to see aunt Lois but she doesn’t know who anybody is at all. she is happy, clean, well cared for though. She said today was not a good day to visit because it was getting cloudy….? So he said ok, we’ll come back another time. She thought that was a good idea? Poor aunt Lo.
Gma was so happy to see Daddy. All she did was talk about the old days, the good times. maybe she forgot all the miller crap? I hope so.
11/19/07
John Miller’s son, Chris died.
Chris M. Miller
Middletown – Chris M. Miller, a lifetime area resident, died unexpectedly on Tuesday, November 13, 2007 at home. He was 42. The son of Ann Chapman O’Connell and John Miller, he was born on April 7, 1965 in Goshen. Chris was a warm, loving and adoring dad. He will be remembered as a fun and charming guy who was always smiling. He enjoyed spending time with his family and shared many special times snowmobiling and camping with them. Chris is survived by his loving wife, Cathy and daughters, Ashlee and Cassandra “Cassie”, all at home; his mother, Ann Chapman O’Connell of Montgomery and father, John Miller and his wife Virginia of Montgomery; brother, Brian; sister, Tina Dobson and her husband Guy, all of Montgomery; sisters-in-law, Kelley and her husband Michael, Sharon and her husband Dan, Christy and her husband Shaun, and Rachael and brother-in-law, Kenny and his wife Tina; and several cousins, nieces, and nephews and one uncle, Larry and his wife Jessie. . The funeral service will be held on Saturday, November 17 at 11 a.m.
11/20/07
I went to see Mom the other day. She was kind of out of it (she saw a fire truck in the vase of flowers on the sink). She said that Chris shot himself. She also said that Ginger flew up for the funeral. So I don’t know what is truth, and what is fiction. I believe he probably did commit suicide as everyone is in a tizzy to keep it hushed up. The obituary did not say anything (of course it wouldn’t) but the family stated that he was a devoted father and took his children snowmobiling and camping. I guess I can’t understand how any devoted parent could do such a selfish thing as take their life and leave their children, but I guess I don’t subscribe to the Miller philosophy. Mom is very depressed and said that she knows she will not get better. In a week she seems to have gotten weaker and is not eating as she should. The dialysis just wipes her out. I am so glad that Bob and Ginger came when they did. Hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving. Love to all!
Just to let you know. Mom said she filled out one of the cards you sent. I don’t know who she gave it to mail. She tries so hard and I feel so helpless because I can’t do anything. She is in the hands of fiends. I straightened out her room Sunday. There were flowers in vases which were all dead and smelled awful as no one would take out the old and put in new water. I don’t think he goes as much anymore, but then why should he, he has accomplished his mission, he has it all!
11/28/07
Aunt Pat called this afternoon. gma is back in Arden Hill w/ Pneumonia. They were admitting her. aunt Pat will call us back tonight and give us update.
Sun, 2 Dec 2007
I was at the hospital Friday. Mom didn’t know me or even where she was. She asked me if I could see the nice dog at her feet and would I get the presents off the table that she had wrapped for the kids. She talked about Aunt Lois being dead and wanted to know if Jim had any face left at all after he had shot himself. It was all very disconcerting. Physically, she seems quite good, however; when I called Mr. Miller that night to see if he saw how disoriented she was, he said that when he got there, they had her on three bags of medicine (she was on none when I was there). But I don’t know what to believe from him, he is such a liar and so nasty. He did say that she is now Medicaid eligible. She is getting much better care at Arden Hill that she was in Campbell Hall. I did not go today as it is cold and snowy and I did not feel like going out. I will keep you informed when I know more. Hope all of you are doing well.
12/3/07
She isn’t being drugged; I think her mind is just drifting back to better days. She talks a lot about our real Dad and her times when we were kids and her happy days in Walton like she is living them now. My friend Patty says her father is doing the same thing and she has had him home with the best of care. Mom has gone through a lot in the past two years and I think she is just shutting down. She said two weeks ago that she knew she wasn’t going to get better and does not really want to go through any more physical torture so I think she is just kind of giving up and letting go. She is getting much better care in Arden Hill and the staff is very attentive. Abbey and I just took a walk in the first snow. I went shopping after work and it was snowing when I came out. It really got me into the Christmas spirit. This thing with Mom has really dragged me down. At least this week I have several parties to go to so I will see some old friends and at least forget my worries for awhile.
1/22/08
gma Miller is in Intensive care. she refused any more dyalisis and has been taken off all medicines. Doc gives her about a week more…. Nothing that we can do.
I’ll keep you updated.
1/27/08
Official family notice:
We will Not be attending NY services for Gma w/ John Miller.
We will send flowers to “beloved Mother and Grandmother” from loving son and family.
